Monday, June 15, 2009
Feeling HALF-DEAD @ 9:05:00 PM
Reuben,

Today was like the worst day ever! I got scolded by my grandma just becuase i did not see if SHE left home or not. This is why i rather stay outside then stay at home. Home is hell. Friends are angels to me. Thats why i rather spent my time with then go home. but since its the june holidays i rather be locked up in my room! and i am! if i do something with good intention it properly come out wrong. thats why i rather be locked up in my room and do NOTHING. Even when i am not a burden to my family i still get scolded!!!! Thats like being forced to be
ALIVE even when you want to be DEAD. She is scolding me for her mistakes. She scolds me for no being observant. I SPENT HALF MY DAY SITTING AT THE CRNER OF MY ROOM while she MOVES AROUND THE HOUSE. She even sneaks into my dad's room even though she is not supposed to. She blames me for every shit that happens at home. Once she scolded me for bringing the home phone to my room. Thats so stupid. We have 2 phones. 1 got lost in my room. The other was fine. She thought my dad had the other one, so that he can eavesdrop on her conversations. She calls me every single time the phone rang and i have to run all the way to the hall to pick up the pone and say 'ITS FOR U' and she is sitting right infront of the phone. Its soo stupid! So i took the phone to my room. If she dont wanna pick up the phone why should i go to the hall and pick it up and just say ITS FOR YOU. So she scolded me. THen when i told her 'why don you pick up the phone' and she tried to shut me up, but hey thats something u cant do to a debating arguing loving boy like me. So she got pwned? and then she brought up the past and how she helps me and makes it sooo dramactic. Thats soooo typical of stupid adults. When i went to the super kids they even said that was a bad way to communicate with kids. Too bad no one came during the last day.. Thats why i stay with friends. Gerard was there on the last day. lols. WEll guess u cant help it. parents will be parents. too busy. Thats why if u asked my family anything about me, they will just 0.0 and say ' got to go' not even my sister know me well. Staying with my grandma is like staying with a strict principle. Everything her way. I prefer my dad to my grandma and i hrdly see my dad. its like i see my grandma's face 100:1 if u compare with my dad. But i prefer my dad. He trys to communicate whenever he can. lols atleast his trying. yea so i feel very angry and full with hatred right now. Being angry and hating is kinda good for me. It takes away my fears and makes me wanna push my limits. when i was going to the temple half way i saw some smokers. so had no choice had to take in the smoke. out of all the other times i took in smoke, that was the first time i felt happy taking i in. It felt so good all of a sudden. lols.felt very angry when going back home. Er but like i said i can be angry forever soo... not angry anymore. yea like very bored now. gonna play games and wtch TV. enjoy your holidays everyone!!